Today's blog, I have decided to talk about how and where it all began. I like that I can just let my thoughts out of my head for a change, and if someone reads them or doesn't, I don't care. This blogging is fun, I was thinking about what to write on my way to work this morning. I have an hour drive so plenty of time to think!!
I am sure that this journey started when I was born and then continued it's journey from the time I started my period when I was 11. I was on birth control from the time that I was 16, not because I was sexually active, although I was for the first time but because my periods were so unpredictable.
The first time that I was diagnosed with what they say I have, PCOS, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome was sometime in my early 20's. I went to the family planning office for my one year exam and birth control. I had asked the doctor why I was getting hair on my chin when I was so young and if that was normal. She stated that it was not and since I have a happy trail suggested that I talk with my doctor and be tested for PCOS.
I had no idea what that meant but looked it up online and read that it could cause infertility. I was upset but my boyfriend, at the time, was not ready to have a child with me. It sucked but I went to the doctor and had my blood drawn, she stated that my levels all appeared normal and that I did not have PCOS. That was a great day!! Skipped through a few pregnancies scares but nothing was ever official, I blame most of this on the fact that I wanted to be a mother so bad.
Fast forward a few years, out with the old boyfriend, by the way unprotected sex for at least a year using the pull-out method with no pregnancies, I just assumed we were really lucky, in with the new boyfriend turned husband!! We used protection, mostly birth control, until we decided that we were ready to become parents. We did the whole year of waiting, thinking I was pregnant each month, taking test after test, hoping/wishing, false symptoms, ovulation tests, and up comes a day that I am about two weeks late. I am used to being late for my period but this was very unusual for me, I took a test with a negative result but still no period in sight. I knew about that whole false negative and since I had NEVER missed my period in my whole life, I made a doctor appointment believing that this was it, finally. Keith and I started thinking about baby names and basically acting as though this was finally it.
I went to the doctor, explained everything, and peed in a cup, like I had a million times before. She came back with a negative result and I tried to hold back the tears. Luckily Keith was coming in after for his own appointment so I asked that he be brought back to console me.
From that point the doctor suggested that I see an OB/GYN since it had been a year with no results.
More to come later on my journey to motherhood..........
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