The next step!!

My last post ended with me talking about taking a break from the neverending month after month of planned (unfun) sex with my husband and then the excitement/disappointment of wondering is this the time that I am going to become a mother. We took that couple months of a much needed break to regain our sanity and give it another try. The doctor said that one chance was all we were going to get this time around before we started on to others tests. So we went for it, and low and behold another month without any excitememt.

I was upset and couldn't figure out why they were only going to give us one shot when a normal pregnancy doesn't always occur after just one try. I gave up at this point though although I was given the option for another chance. It is such a hard and emotional roller coaster and mentally exhausting.

Our next option was to go in for a Hysteroadfhiads;fhafhsadfh something that I can't pronounce and always forget what it is called. The easy term is the they spread me eagle, feet in stirrups, and shoot dye into my fallopian tubes to make sure that my tubes are not clogged before they start on to the next process. Unfortanately insurance doesn't cover much for infertility and I had a $1000 deductible to meet before the insurance would pay/cover anything. So this is where we have been stuck for the last 2 yrs now I think, just waiting.

This whole process sucks on so many levels, because when you don't think that you can financially make it and it would just be easier to come up pregnant and then plan for it as opposed to just saying hey let's spend money that we do not have to bring a child into the world that we aren't sure we can support. Then the emotional ups and downs that you can go through on your own, it can all be confusing. It just makes you wonder why me?

I have new insurance since the process originally began but I think that they cover $2500 worth for a lifetime and that is it. Ok, so the first time works after the insurance covers it and then guess what baby #2 starts to creep into your mind and then oh well the insurance won't help us here, EVER AGAIN. It is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard of. You will help cover for families to not get pregnant and don't even get me started on whether there is an option for abortion. Every way to prevent or discontinue a pregnancy just not one that creates a baby, the most expensive part of it all. And heartbreaking at that when faced with these decisions.

I had this great friend that looks up infertility issues online and although I am too lazy or just don't think about it she finds these great things. She turned me on to this infertility seminar that was awesome and something that I really needed. I am lucky enough to only have spurts of times when not being able to have babies bothers me more than anything but for the most part my husband and I are happy with how things are in our lives. That will be my next week's blog, to have a kid or not to, that is definitely a good question!!